Why You Should Absolutely Not Vote for Me
⚠️ Why You Should Absolutely Not Vote for Me
A Political Suicide Note from a Real Candidate
Dear America,
I’m running for office. That’s right — Senate, Congress, heck, maybe even President. But let me save you some time: don’t vote for me.
Why?
Because I’m not what the political machine wants. I’m not here to charm billionaires at wine caves or shake hands with defense contractors at brunch. I won’t kiss your baby unless it’s crying, and I won't sell my soul for a campaign ad in Ohio.
I’m here to do the job, and that makes me politically radioactive.
Let me explain:
🌟 1. I Won’t Bomb Countries to Boost Poll Numbers
No more war tourism. I won’t send drones into weddings or call it “strategic deterrence.” Other countries have the right — and responsibility — to fix their own messes. We’ve tried playing global hall monitor. All we got was blowback, PTSD, terrorism, and a $33 trillion tab.
You want forever wars? Vote for the other guy.
🔥 2. I’ll Burn Citizens United to the Ground
Not literally (though tempting), but legislatively. Politicians bought by billionaires are not public servants — they’re corporate interns with pensions. If elections need oligarchs to run, the system’s broken.
Fix the system or rebuild it.
⚕️ 3. Universal Healthcare: Science and Empathy
Getting cancer shouldn’t require a GoFundMe. We'll adopt the smart systems proven to work across Europe. Healthcare for all. No yachts for insurance CEOs. No price tag on staying alive.
💸 4. Tax the Uber-Rich Like It’s 1979
Bring back the pre-Reagan tax code. If you make billions, congrats — now pay your damn share. Cancel pharma ads. Pay off national debt with tax justice.
🏫 5. Free, Smarter College — Online, Efficient, and Debt-Free
No more bloated buildings and $600 chairs. If you test in, you learn for free. Debt? Deleted. Like Germany. But with fewer umlauts. Online Lectures, Interactive Textbooks, AI, Disruptive Education to the times.
♿ 6. Congress Gets No Special Healthcare
Lawmakers get the same healthcare as the people they serve. Let’s see how fast reform happens when a senator has to sit on hold just like Grandma.
💔 7. Commit a Crime? Even Presidents Get Cuffed
No immunity for the powerful. If you’re corrupt, you resign, repay, and report to court. Period. Public service doesn’t come with a get-out-of-jail-free card.
🎥 8. Real Transparency, Not Lip Service
No secret bills. No backroom deals. Every government meeting recorded. You work for the public? You do it in public.
🌿 9. Environment First — Because We Are Nature
Pollution is bio-violence. Polluters will clean up everything they dump. No expiration dates. Parks expanded. Forests protected. Green tech funded.
🔫 10. Gun Licensing Like Driver Licensing
Own a gun? Get licensed. Pass a safety course. Mental health screening. No assault rifles. No loopholes. No excuses.
💼 11. No Congressional Raises, No Pensions, No Free Rides
Pay pegged to inflation. No self-voted raises. No pensions. No post-term gravy trains. Public service isn’t a retirement plan.
🥇 12. Presidents Aren’t Kings — They’re Admins
The President is a COO, not a monarch. Policy comes from Congress. Electoral college? Gone. Most votes = win. What a concept.
🌎 13. States’ Rights Over Federal Overreach
The feds work for the states, not over them. No federal intervention without consent. But yes — we protect civil rights, always.
🏞️ 14. National Parks: Off-Limits to Greed
No mining. No fracking. No resource theft. Public land stays sacred. And we plant trees like the Earth depends on it — because it does.
🔬 15. Science Isn’t a Religion — It’s a Conversation
Science is open to debate. No more censorship. Peer-reviewed dissent stays public. No more Pharma-scripted policy.
🚫 IN CONCLUSION: Why the Major Parties Will Never Support Me
I’m not corruptible.
I won’t take PAC money.
I believe in facts, fairness, and future generations.
I’ll make enemies of every lobbyist in the swamp.
And worst of all... I’ll actually do what I say I’ll do.
That’s why you shouldn’t vote for me — unless you’re tired of being lied to.
This isn’t a career move. It’s a last-ditch reminder that government belongs to the governed.
And you deserve better.
🤯 But Let’s Be Honest: I Probably Won’t Win
Mainstream media will call me “unelectable.”
Party leadership will ghost me like a bad Tinder date.
Bots will call me every label in the book.
And someone in a black suit will say, “Play ball or disappear.”
To which I say:
“I didn’t come to play ball. I came to flip the damn table.”
🌟 If This Sounds Like a Revolution, It’s Because It Is
Not the pitchfork kind. The ballot, broadband, and bravery kind.
We’ve normalized corruption so much, honesty looks radical. We’ve tolerated dysfunction so long, competence looks suspicious.
I’m not here to sell you hope. I’m here to build it.
📅 So Here’s the Deal
If you want:
A system that works for working people
Education without debt
Healthcare without bankruptcy
Clean air, clean water, clean food
A government that minds its own business abroad and minds all its people at home
Then don’t just vote for me.
Vote for yourself. Vote for your kids. Vote like you’ve only got one life — and one planet.
Because you do.
🕊️ And One More Thing — I’m Bringing Back the First Amendment
No more censorship. No more deplatforming. Especially for scientists and dissenting medical voices.
Debate isn’t dangerous. Censorship is.
🔹 Under My Watch:
No off-limits topics.
No PR slogans in place of facts.
Real experts. Real conversation. Televised if needed.
🛡️ The Immunity Clause? A National Embarrassment
If you harm people with your product — you are liable.
If you commit crimes in office — you are prosecuted.
No more cloaks of power. No more corporate invisibility shields.
✅ Informed Consent Is the New Law of the Land
"If it’s not tested for safety and doesn’t have full disclosure, it doesn’t belong on the market."
Applies to:
Vaccines
Medications
Food additives
Environmental chemicals
The era of forced compliance and hidden ingredients? Over.
🖐️ Let’s Be Blunt
You won’t find me cozying up to lobbyists in secret.
You’ll find me shaking up the system in daylight, Constitution on my sleeve.
I won’t censor truth.
I won’t silence dissent.
I won’t insult your intelligence with "Trust us."
Trust must be earned, not ordered.
🚫 So Don’t Vote for Me If:
You love soundbites
You hate nuance
You think debate is dangerous
You think your rights need corporate permission slips
But if you’re ready to take back your voice, your rights, your country —
Then don’t just vote for me. Vote for the revolution with receipts.
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